I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
