Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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