He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
