Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
