Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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