Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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