If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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