Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
