Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
