ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
