Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
