I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
