i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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