She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
