I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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