I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
