he thought i was a dude.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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