I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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