This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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