what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is wine microwaveable?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
