the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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