Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
