Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize