Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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