Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
