i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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