I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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