But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
