i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
