I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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