so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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