There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
