Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
