I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
