I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
