somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
