I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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