THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she smelled like a LAN party
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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