I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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