She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
