It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
