meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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