I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize