problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
