If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
