Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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