her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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