it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
