I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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