i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
