What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this just has baby written all over it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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