If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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