I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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