New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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