She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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