dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the condom got lost in my hair
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
