i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
