Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
