Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I lost the right to judge tonight
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
