Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
