I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she was so not down for the gang bang
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Such a big mess for such a small penis
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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