Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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