I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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